Struggling with Suffering

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I wanted Pop-Tarts for breakfast, but I had a problem. The Pop-Tarts were kept on top of the refrigerator along with all the breakfast cereal and I couldn’t reach them. No one was home to help me, but the box was near the front so maybe, just maybe, I could figure out a way to get them. I stood up out of my wheelchair and leaned against the refrigerator for balance. Reaching up, I stretched my arms as far as I could, but I couldn’t even touch the box. So I figured it was time to get my grabber tool that helps me get things that are out of my reach. But it didn’t quite work. This time as I tried to maneuver my arm up toward the elusive box of Pop-Tarts, the added weight of my grabber made it difficult for me to raise it high enough. I plopped back down in my wheelchair. I was tired of the struggle. In fact, I was so upset I actually cried in frustration. Let me clarify. It wasn’t the lack of Pop-Tarts that was upsetting me, it was my lack of ability. Things I used to be able to do I no longer can. As my hands and arms have weakened and lost some mobility, my way of life has changed and it isn’t always easy. So on this particular morning I gave in to the struggle. But as I sat there venting my frustration by sobbing, I heard a little voice in my head say, “Is this helping?” And when I admitted to myself that it wasn’t, just like that the frustration and self-pity were gone! And I had to smile at my own foolishness. I realized some years ago that frustration doesn’t help the situation, it only makes me unhappy. But sometimes I forget!

Recently I came across this thought provoking question:

In this season of difficulty, are you wasting your suffering?
–from Seasons of the Woman’s Heart

What kind of question is that?! What does it mean? I understand the concept of wasting time and wasting money and wasting food, but what does it mean to waste suffering? To waste something means that we are not using something properly. It implies that the thing being wasted has value and a purpose. And there it is! Suffering has purpose. And this is part of the struggle we have with suffering. We don’t always understand the reason behind it, and we ask the question, “Why?” How is it even possible that something so hard, so painful, so devastating can have a beneficial purpose?

The Bible reveals several reasons for our suffering. It might be God seeking to get our attention and to draw us to Himself. Sometimes it is God working to improve our character or to build up our faith. The purpose may be to use us to touch someone else’s life or to bring God glory. But the real struggle with suffering isn’t about discovering the cause or the reason. The more urgent question is how will we respond to it. Will we be victorious in our suffering?

The whining, murmuring pang never does anybody any good.
–from Streams in the Desert

I am reminded of Joni Eareckson Tada, well-known quadriplegic, who has touched thousands not just with her testimony and talent, but also with her delightful demeanor and dedication to the Lord. Then there is Nick Vujicic, a preacher without arms or legs, who inspires many with his courage and humor. Evangelist Dorsey Ross, born with Apert Syndrome, encourages others to “overcome life’s obstacles”. These are just a few examples of what victorious suffering can accomplish!

The Bible instructs us to respond to our suffering with joy. We cringe at the thought! It doesn’t seem logical or possible. Not only does Scripture tell us to “rejoice always” and “in everything give thanks”, it also says this:

Dear brothers and sisters,when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.
–James 1:2 (NLT)

Perhaps one reason we are to respond with joy is because the Bible encourages us in Nehemiah 8:10 by declaring, “the joy of the Lord is your strength”!

Amid manifold trials, souls which love God will find reasons for bounding, leaping joy.
–from Streams in the Desert.

Does this mean we are always happy? No. Does it mean we never battle our emotions and struggle with frustration? No. (Remember my ordeal with the Pop-Tarts!) But it does mean we can reach up to God and tap into the joy we find in Him!

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.
–2 Corinthians 4:8,9 (NLT)

(In case you are wondering…I did have my Pop-Tarts the next morning when my daughter was there to get them down for me! Not a very healthy breakfast, I know, but I was quite happy.)

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Open Doors

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When Willow comes to visit, we make sure all the doors are closed. My great granddaughter is an exuberant and active toddler. And she loves open doors. When a door is open, she’s ready to check it out! So the pantry door and cupboard doors, the bathroom door and bedroom doors are all kept closed. But if I go to my room when she is around, as soon as I open that door, she is right there with me, looking forward to going through it! To her an open door is an invitation and an opportunity. And indeed it is!

J. Wesley Clark was a minister. When he heard about a very small church in a very small town that needed a pastor, he and his wife decided to take a drive to see exactly where this church was located. As they drove past the church building, they noticed the front door of the church was wide open. God spoke to their hearts, That open door is for you. I was eleven years old when our new pastor shared his experience with us, and it has stayed with me. I loved the fact that God used a literal open door to show this man the open door waiting for him in his future.

The Lord opened a door of opportunity for me.
–2 Corinthians 2:12

There is a wide-open door for a great work here!
–1 Corinthians 16:9

There are several wonderful doors mentioned in the Bible. In the Old Testament book of Hosea, God sets before his people a “door of hope” and in the book of Acts there is offered to us a “door of faith”. But most exciting of all is when Jesus Himself declares: “I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved.”-John 10:9 These doors are not locked and barred. They are an invitation from God Himself to all of us. An open door for us to enter.

The doors that lead us to God are of utmost importance. We don’t want to neglect them! But we have other open doors set before us as well. Doors of opportunity and direction. Will we go through them with confidence? Or does fear hold us back from something that God has planned for us? As we look for guidance in our daily living, we need to check out those open doors.

Sometimes open doors may be hard to recognize. We get so focused on one direction, our own ideas and set plans, that we miss the other opportunities available to us. When hard times come our way and circumstances are not to our liking, we keep looking at the door that is shut instead of finding another door that just might be open!

Often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
–Helen Keller

I hope that Willow keeps her enthusiasm for open doors. That as she grows older she will continue to look for the adventure that is on the other side of that door. For that matter, I want that kind of attitude, too! I don’t want to miss out on an adventure or overlook an opportunity by failing to go through an open door that God has put in front of me. How about you?

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I Don’t Want To!

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Moving isn’t easy. When my daughter and her family moved from New York to Minnesota, my granddaughter struggled. The day they left, they came to see me one more time and to say their goodbyes. My seven year old granddaughter clung to me and whispered imploringly in my ear, “I don’t want to!” I responded with “I know” and I assured her that it would be okay.

Sometimes I don’t want to either. I have had to move several times. The more difficult moves were leaving the churches and the people my husband and I had pastored to go to a new place of ministry. I remember on one occasion sobbing in the car and tearfully saying, “I can’t believe it’s over!” –the equivalent of saying, “I don’t want to.” But the most difficult move of all was when my husband unexpectedly passed away. I had to leave the home and life we had shared, and go on without him. My heart silently shouted, “I DON’T WANT TO!”

I’m not talking about the “I don’t want to” that is a defiant declaration of rebellion and stubbornness, but rather the cry that comes from fear and anxiety. Sometimes we are faced with changes in our lives that are out of our control and we just don’t know how we can go on. The loss of a spouse, the death of a child, a change in employment, or a dreaded diagnosis can lead us to despair and desperation. And we just don’t want it to be true!

But there is Someone we can go to, cling to, and cry to. We can lean into the arms of God and freely tell Him, “I don’t want to.” And He will respond with a gentle, “I know.” But with God there is more!! He not only understands and comforts, He goes with us!! If we lean on Him and trust in Him, He promises to be with us and to help us. No matter the circumstances or changes we are facing, God is right there, too!

Do not be afraid or discouraged.
For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
–Joshua 1:9 (NLT)
For God has said, ‘I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.’ So we can say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear.’
–Hebrews 13:5,6 (NLT)
Be assured, if you walk with Him and look to Him and expect help from Him, He will never fail you.
–George Mueller

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Christmas Movies & Superlatives

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A new Christmas movie was released this year titled, “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.” I haven’t seen the movie, but I have read the book and I’m familiar with the story. The movie centers around the Herdman siblings and their surprising involvement with a church Christmas pageant. A synopsis of the movie explains it this way: The Herdman kids are absolutely the worst. They lie. They steal. They bully…and they’ve hijacked the town Christmas pageant...[They] sneak into church looking for snacks and walk away with the lead roles in the town pageant. And so it appears the program will be ruined! But in spite of (or maybe because of) their unorthodox and unusual presentation the pageant is actually deemed the best Christmas pageant ever!

The phrase “best ever” is a superlative. It expresses the highest degree possible. Superlative adjectives are used to describe something of the highest (or lowest) quality. I remember my mother sharing this little rhyme with me, “Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better, and your better best.” Best is the superlative. That’s as good as it gets!

Advertisers and public figures, such as politicians and athletes, are prone to use superlatives declaring they are the best, the greatest, the wisest, and the smartest. But when superlatives are overused they become hyperboles and meaningless. In the Christmas movie Elf, there’s a comical scene that illustrates this very well. When Buddy the Elf discovers that he was adopted as a baby and is not really an elf at all, he travels to New York City in search of his birth father. As he explores the city, he sees a small, nondescript diner with a sign in the window that reads: World’s Best Cup of Coffee. Buddy is ecstatic. He bursts into the restaurant yelling, “Congratulations! You did it!” In his simplistic view, he has no idea that it is merely an advertising gimmick. It is meaningless.

Was the Christmas pageant in the movie really the “best Christmas pageant ever”? Probably not. But I am reminded of an older movie considered a classic called, “The Greatest Story Ever Told.” Is this even possible? What story could possibly be the greatest? There is one! And it begins with the Christmas story! What God has done for us through the birth and life and death of His only begotten Son is indeed the greatest story ever told!

In Scripture, God is often acknowledged as the Most High God, declaring Him to be the Supreme Being over all. And yet it is difficult to use superlatives to describe who God is, because there is no one or anything to compare Him with. He alone is God! God Himself asks in Isaiah 40:25: To whom will you compare me? Who is my equal? and later He declares I am the Lord and there is no other; there is no God besides me. And when we think of what He has done for us and the blessings He gives us, we are often at a loss for words, because as David expresses in Psalm 139:6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand. Nothing in this world compares with what God has done for us! We are given, according to the Bible, “indescribable joy”, “peace which surpasses all understanding”, and “exceeding grace”. Because of Him, we can “abound with hope” and “overflow with confidence”! And so we ponder the thought, Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us that we should be called children of God. (1John 3:1) It’s a love we can experience, but will never completely understand. There’s an abundance to God and His love for us that is greater than any superlative can express!

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!
–2 Corinthians 9:15

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Falling Leaves and Bare Branches

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The popular Christmas song It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year has a line in it that declares, “It’s the hap-happiest season of all.” But apparently that’s not actually true. Statistically, America’s most favorite season of the year is autumn. There’s something about the sweater weather, pumpkin spice everything, and the colorful fall foliage that people really appreciate and enjoy. But I am not one of those people. I have a tendency to view autumn as an omen of what is to come–a long cold, snowy winter.

I must admit that this year the fall season was especially enjoyable. It was warm, sunny and bright. The leaves seemed more colorful than usual with varying shades of red and orange and golden yellow.

This tree was absolutely beautiful! But then something happened! The colorful leaves did not stay. One by one they fell to the ground until nothing remained on the tree. All that was left on the tree were bare branches. Not so pretty now, is it?

Photos by Eva Marie Husted

Why do the leaves have to fall off anyway? I did a little research. Obviously, they fall for a reason. Without getting into all the science behind it, simply stated, it’s for the sake of the tree and in preparation for that cold and snowy winter that lies ahead. Without the leaves, the tree is able to retain the water it needs during the winter months which reduces the amount of energy the tree needs to survive. And those bare branches are no longer weighted down with leaves and are able to withstand the snowfalls that come with the winter season. Even the fallen leaves serve a purpose as they give nutrients to the soil. Barren seasons do have purpose.

Every season has its purpose. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us, “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” And verse 11 declares, “He [God] has made everything beautiful in its time.” But let me clarify. Certainly this is true of the seasons found in nature, but more importantly it is also true concerning the seasons of our individual lives. This chapter in Ecclesiastes gives us a glimpse of some of the seasons we encounter in living.

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what was planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to gain, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
–Ecclesiastes 3:2-8

Some seasons of life are easier than others. It is difficult to see the purpose or benefit of a “barren season” in life. When we face loss and sorrow, we feel stripped bare and vulnerable. Like the bare branches of a tree, our foliage has fallen off and we feel exposed and ugly and useless. What good can there possibly be in this horrible time of life?! Could it be that God is preparing us for a season yet to come? Could it be He is actually strengthening us or even protecting us? Our difficult seasons are made easier to bear when we learn to trust that God is working in our lives for a purpose and for our benefit.

In her book, Anonymous, Alicia Britt Chole makes a similar comparison. Referring to the silver maple that grows in her yard she writes:

Bare, her lean limbs can support the coming snow and ice. But that weight would be too much for her frame in all its fullness. Lighter is better for the deep work of winter.
So she bows. She bends. She surrenders to thinning and in doing so thickens her foundation for an even more glorious summer to come.
In the same way, submission to God’s seasons will be our saving strength. To resist thinning is to risk collapse. The future is weighty, capable of crushing the unprepared.

As we go through the barren seasons of our life, there is a calm assurance that comes when we trust God, knowing He is always faithful to provide strength and grace in our time of need, knowing He is always working on our behalf even in those times of great loss. Only God knows what the future holds and He lovingly prepares us for the next season of our life.

A poem to ponder:

A Measure of Grace

Deciduous trees are finally “baring it all” in defiance of the coming winter.
Soon they’ll be stark naked, without leaves on their branches to catch any frigid gusts.
True, they might freeze—I’ve seen it happen before—but this baring removes much of the potential risk of broken limbs, along with other things that might hinder
Their successful passage through the cold, through the long nights, through the blind icy thrusts
That seem to come from everywhere in the darkest time of the calendar here in the northern half of the world.
It’s those blind icy thrusts that I and all of us need to learn not to fear.
They’re the unexpected moments for which the deciduous trees, and we, need to prepare in order to find new buds, new chances, new vistas unfurled
That we may not even understand at first but will be revealed to us as this creaky old year
Stumbles fitfully away and a new one crawls in on hands and knees, not yet able to speak but with its message in its tiny little hands tightly curled.
It’s waiting to pass that message to us at the appropriate time, in the appropriate way, in the appropriate place…
Provided we’ve rested, healed, learned the lessons of the blind icy thrusts, embraced the dark, and achieved from doing all that—as most deciduous trees do—a measure of grace.

by Ben Neideigh

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Do You Have Ears?

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My two youngest grandbabies are close in age. Born a few months apart, they are both somewhere midway between the age of one and two. They are discovering more about themselves and learning to communicate. They are both learning the names of their body parts and it’s a fun game to play with them. Willow, who is actually my great granddaughter, is quite exuberant about it. She grins with glee and points triumphantly when asked “Where’s your nose?” or “Where’s your mouth?” But she’s really cute when asked about her ears. She takes both hands and tugs them out for you to see!

My grandson knows this game, too. Johnny doesn’t live near me, but I get to enjoy seeing his progress and talking to him through video chats. Recently, during one of our chats, I asked him “Where’s your nose?” He pointed to his nose and said, “nose”. So I asked, “Where’s your chin?” He appropriately touched his chin and replied, “chin”. Then I asked, ” Do you have ears?” And he startled me by saying, “No.” I chuckled, because it was cute and unexpected and funny. But it also caused me to think of another, somewhat similar and more serious question. That is, do you have ears to hear?

Little boys often had their own thoughts and while pursuing them did not always hear what you said. Many people of all ages were hard of hearing in all kinds of ways.
–from the novel Kingdom Come by Daphne Simpkins

The above quote reminds us that it isn’t just the ‘hard of hearing’ who are hard of hearing. I mentioned this in my previous blog post, I Hear You! In that post I wrote, “But it isn’t just those who suffer from hearing loss that do not hear. There are other reasons that people fail to listen. It has to do with focus. When a person is focused on themselves it affects their ability to hear.” Distractions, such as television and cell phones, also affect focus and can keep people from hearing. But sometimes the reason people do not hear is simply because they don’t want to!

The expression “Talk to the hand!” accompanied with a raised hand in front of the face blatantly makes this clear. The unspoken and implied part of that statement is “cause this face ain’t listening.” It means you might as well talk to my hand, because I don’t want to hear what you’re saying! Sometimes people will cover their ears and make a lot of noise with their mouth as a way of refusing to hear. One Sunday morning I noticed a lady in the congregation sitting with her hands pressed over her ears. When I asked her about it after the service, she told me she didn’t want to hear what the preacher was saying. We may not literally cover our ears, but many times we do close our ears to what we do not want to hear.

Usually if someone refuses to listen, it is because they don’t want to hear another viewpoint or be given advice or receive any instruction. But quite often it also means they don’t want to hear the truth. This is especially true in spiritual matters.

Thomas Jefferson made his own Bible. He cut up his Bible, eliminated the portions he didn’t like or didn’t want to believe, and pasted the remaining verses into another book. This cut up version of the Word of God (It’s only the New Testament.) has actually been published and is available for purchase! This is a prime example of refusing to hear God’s truth.

It isn’t always easy to hear God’s voice. We can get it all mixed up. But sometimes the problem is our unwillingness to hear what He has to say. Sadly, many of us do not have ears to hear from God. From the very beginning, God longed for the people He created to hear Him. As much as we want God to hear us, He also wants us to hear Him!

From the Old Testament prophets to the last book of the Bible, God implores His people to hear Him. The book of Jeremiah is filled with pleas from God for them to hear Him, and over and over again the response is: “but they would not listen”. Jeremiah calls them “foolish people… who have ears and hear not”. One of the saddest verses in the Bible is Isaiah 28:12. “God has told His people, ‘Here is a place of rest; let the weary rest here. This is a place of quiet rest.’ But they would not listen.” (NLT) I wonder what blessings we miss, because we refuse to hear.

Do you have ears to hear? In the book of Revelation there are several verses that repeat the exhortation: “He that has ears, let him hear…” The New Living Translation words it this way: “Anyone with ears to hear must listen..” We all have ears. The question is: are we willing to hear God?

Who among you will give ear to this?
Who will listen and hear…
–Isaiah 42:23

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I Hear You!

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I have a dear friend who is a blessing to me. She’s quick to offer me assistance when I need help and is willing to go the extra mile for me. (And I mean that literally.) We attend the same church, so I see her often. At a recent social function she was helping me get a hot cup of tea. In discussing what kind of tea I wanted, I mentioned that I had a hankering for some Constant Comment which is one of my favorite teas. A few days later she approached me after the Sunday morning church service with a gift bag in her hand and told me it was a belated birthday gift. There were several items in the bag, but the thing that gave me the most joy was the box of Constant Comment tea at the bottom of the bag! I was moved by the fact that she actually heard me! She heard, she listened, and she responded. Not everybody does.

I never expected to be hard of hearing. In my naivety, I had this inane idea that it wouldn’t happen to me. After all, I have enough issues to deal with! But it did happen to me and it is both frustrating and annoying! It’s frustrating to me and annoying to others. Sometimes as hard as I try I cannot hear what the other person is saying. I don’t mean to be rude or to ignore them, I just can’t hear!

But it isn’t just those who suffer from hearing loss that do not hear. There are other reasons that people fail to listen. It has to do with focus. When a person is focused on themselves it affects their ability to hear. They cannot hear because they’re too busy talking or intent on planning what they’re going to say next or thinking about something totally different than what the other person is saying.

Technology also affects our focus and ability to hear. The television blaring in the living room and the phone in our hand draws our attention away from those around us. It’s happened to me. I suddenly become aware that someone is speaking and I sheepishly ask “Oh, are you talking to me?”

Years ago there was a popular Verizon commercial that featured a man going around to far away and unusual locations with his cellphone and asking “Can you hear me now?” It became a popular catchphrase that is still used today. We say it with a chuckle and yet it’s a question that sometimes needs to be asked. Can you hear me now? It’s a joy to have a friend respond with “I hear you!”

But have you ever asked God that question? Have you ever wondered if He hears you? Let me assure you, He does! God’s answer to your question is YES! I hear you! Isaiah 59:1 tells us that God is not “too deaf to hear your call.” When nobody else will hear you or listen to you, He will! A line from an old, old chorus reminds us, “He’s not too busy to hear your heart’s cry.” Consider these verses:

The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help.
–Psalm 34:17 (NLT)

I have called upon You, for You will hear me, O God; incline Your ear to me, and hear my speech.
–Psalm 17:6

In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God, He heard my voice from his temple, and my cry came before Him, even to his ears.
–Psalm 18:6

…the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping, the Lord has heard my supplication, the Lord will receive my prayer.
–Psalm 6:8,9

However, we are warned in Scripture that our sins can come between us and the ears of God. That verse in Isaiah that tells us God is not deaf goes on to say this in the next verse, “…your sins have hidden his face from you so that he will not hear.” How disheartening! But we have these encouraging words of David:

If I regard iniquity in my heart the Lord will not hear. BUT certainly God has heard me, He has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God who has not turned away my prayer nor His mercy from me.
–Psalm 66:18-20

God is a ready listener. He leans toward us ready to hear us when we call on Him. If we humble ourselves before Him, He promises to hear our prayers. God hears us! He listens, He understands, and He responds!

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Classic Cars and Restoration

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Each year in August the village of East Aurora, NY holds an annual classic car show. Main Street is closed off to traffic for the day and the street is lined with old cars and trucks, most of them beautifully restored. This is a large event and the street is filled with people walking and admiring the numerous entries.

I enjoy going to the show, not only because of the classic cars that are there, but because of the memories they bring to my mind. The old Plymouth Belvedere reminds me of the one my husband owned when we were dating, and the large pink Mercury reminds me of my father. My father was a Mercury man. Whenever he bought a new car, it was always a Mercury. One year he couldn’t decide between purchasing a blue or a pink Mercury, so he discussed it with the family. A vote was taken and the general consensus was “Let’s get blue.” So he went and bought the pink one! The year I saw the gorgeous pink Mercury at the car show, I had to smile and take a picture.

The car show is more special to me now, because my older grandson has an entry in it! Cody owns a 1985 Dodge Ram50 truck that he has restored and made his own. It’s an unusual little truck that is admired by many.

My grandson has a new restoration project. He’s been working on an old motorcycle. He likes sharing his progress with me, showing me the parts he’s gotten and taking me into the garage to see what he’s done. He has sent me a few pictures, too. Look at this!

But that’s not how it looked when he started! It took a lot of work to get it to look like that. At one point in time, Cody’s beautiful red motorcycle actually looked like this:

When Cody is restoring an old vehicle he spends a lot of time exploring junk yards and searching eBay for just the right part he needs. And then comes the struggle of putting it on and making it work. The restoration process takes a lot of time and patience.

I am reminded of a little chorus that was popular when my children were young:

He’s still working on me to make me what I need to be;
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
the sun and the earth, and Jupiter and Mars,
Oh, how loving and patient He must be,
‘Cause He’s still working on me!

Did you know that God is in the restoring business? And He does it with love and patience! One of the greatest things I am thankful for is that God is so patient with me.

Recently I saw a Facebook post that read simply and sadly, “I have failed!!!” I do not know the circumstances behind that statement and I was taken aback by the words. My response to the person who wrote it was, “Haven’t we all.” But this is when God can come into our lives to do the great work of restoration!

First and foremost, God desires to restore our relationship with Him. This is accomplished by a simple act of faith in what has already been done for us!

Since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God, because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us…our friendship with God was restored by the death of His Son…
–Romans 5:1&10 (NLT)

But this is just the beginning. The restoration process continues because we are an imperfect people. We make mistakes and do wrong things. And sometimes our bad choices have dire consequences, not only messing up our lives, but affecting those around us. We become despondent, and in despair we hang our heads and cry, “I have failed!” Can restoration take place even then?

We tend to think that restoration is getting back what has been lost, but that’s not completely true. When a car is being restored, what is broken must be fixed, but what can’t be fixed needs to be replaced. Broken pieces and ruined parts are forever gone. A restored car is NOT the same car it originally was. With different parts and a new coat of paint, the car has been given a new life. It doesn’t get back the pieces that were ruined. And this is a truth for us as well. Some consequences of our actions can’t be changed. We can’t always go back to what we were or what we had, but we can be restored and given a new life!

Job lost everything. His health, his possessions, his family. But at the end of the story he is restored! His health returns and he has an abundant life. But the possessions and houses that were destroyed are forever gone and so is the family he lost to death. But God blessed him with new possessions and another family. He was restored and given a new life!

King David was a “man after God’s heart” and yet he really messed up! He committed a grievous sin by committing adultery with the neighbor’s wife and plotting to have her husband killed! There were consequences to his misdeeds. He suffered loss. But David knew about the God who restores! His prayer of repentance is found in Psalm 51. In the middle of his prayer, he prays for restoration.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me by Your generous spirit.
–Psalm 51:10-12

Being restored by God isn’t about what He does for us; it’s more about what He does in us. Remember the line from the 23rd Psalm, “He restoreth my soul.”

We can be assured that God can bring good out of the worst circumstances. We can trust Him to heal the heartache, to mend the broken pieces, and to restore our ruined lives. He can make “something beautiful” out of any mess!

If there ever were dreams
that were lofty and noble,
they were my dreams at the start,
And hope for life’s best were the hopes
that I harbor down deep in my heart.
But my dreams turned to ashes
and my castles all crumbled,
my fortune turned to loss,
so I wrapped it all in the rags of life
and laid it at the cross.

Something beautiful, something good,
all my confusion He understood.
All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife,
but He made something beautiful of my life.
–Bill Gaither

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Growing Up and Getting Older

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I recently celebrated my birthday. Usually, with a few exceptions, my birthday celebrations are simple.They always have been. When I was a child my mother would bake a cake, slather it with frosting, put the right number of candles on it and that was about it. I don’t remember getting many presents. (Although there was the year my older, married sister surprised me with a particular, popular style dress that she knew I wanted. Sisters are good at that kind of thing.) But there are two things about my childhood birthdays that I do recall with fondness.

Our family had an unusual tradition of pulling ears on someone’s birthday. We would grab the birthday child’s ear lobe, and gently pull down counting up to their age with each tug of the ear and then with one final prolonged yank of the ear, we would add “and one to grow!” (I tried to implement this activity with my own children, but without success. We opted for playful birthday spankings instead.)

I also remember my father teasing me on my birthday about acting my age. But he did it with a humorous twist, always looking a year ahead of my actual age. For instance, on the day of my tenth birthday he looked at me and announced that now I was almost eleven!! He did this to me every year. This actually had a long lasting, positive effect on me as now I have a tendency to think I am a year older than I actually am, and when I stop to think about it, it’s nice to realize that I am not as old as I thought I was!

Children look forward to their birthdays, not just because of the party and the presents, but they are also excited about being another year older. They want to grow up! Children can’t wait to turn ten, and then they look forward to becoming teenagers. Teenagers long to be young adults and to reach that magical age of twenty-one. They are in anticipation of what privileges await them and what the future has for them. But somewhere between twenty-one and eighty-one, we begin to realize that with each birthday we are no longer “growing up”; we are just getting older. And getting older isn’t always easy.

Ecclesiastes gives a good, but bleak, description of what that means:

So remember your Creator while you are still young before those dismal days and years come when you will say “I do not enjoy life.” That is when the light of the sun, the moon, and the stars will grow dim for you, and the rain clouds will never pass away. Then the arms, that protected you, will tremble and your legs, now strong, will grow weak. Your teeth will be too few to chew your food and your eyes too dim to see clearly. Your ears will be deaf to the noise of the street. You will barely be able to hear the mill as it grinds or the music as it plays, but even the song of the bird will wake you from sleep. You will be afraid of high places and walking will be dangerous. Your hair will turn white; you will hardly be able to drag yourself along, and all desire will be gone.
–Ecclesiastes 12:1-5 (Good News Translation)

So what are we to do about this inevitable process of aging? The whole idea of getting old can be disheartening and discouraging and depressing. How should we respond and act as we are getting older? Cosmetic companies and health gurus urge us to “defy aging”. That may sound good and inviting, but in reality it’s an impossibility. Our bodies do not and will not last forever. There is no elusive, magical fountain of youth. I like the concept of growing old gracefully, but what exactly does that mean? It involves acceptance and attitude. It means doing all we can for as long as we can. It is also the ability to laugh at ourselves and to be joyful and content in difficult circumstances. I recently saw this adage: “Forget about aging gracefully. Focus instead on aging gratefully.” I think the two go together. We need to guard ourselves against becoming grumpy old men and grouchy grannies.

Aging is out of your control. How you handle it though is in your hands.
–Diane Von Furstenberg

Getting old is not without hope and purpose. The Psalmist recognized this when he declared, “I trust in You, O Lord. I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in Your hand.” (Psalm 31:14,15) In another Psalm, David attests to the faithfulness of God. “I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken.” (Psalm 37:25) It is this knowledge and experience that causes him to have hope in God and to call on Him even in his old age. “And now, in my old age, don’t set me aside. Don’t abandon me when my strength is failing…Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God. Let me proclaim your power to this new generation.” (Psalm 71:9,18-NLT) And through the prophet Isaiah, God gives us this promise: “Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you…” (Isaiah 46:4-NIV)

Hope and heart needn’t fade as we age.
–Arthur Jackson in Our Daily Bread

I still enjoy celebrating my birthday. I receive phone calls and gifts from my children, and homemade cards from my grandkids. I also get to make the menu for my birthday dinner. Whatever I want! I especially enjoy being surrounded by family and laughter around that dinner table. But I am most grateful that God has blessed me with another year of life, another opportunity to live for Him, to trust Him, and to glorify Him.

So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord!
–Psalm 31:24 (NLT)

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My Perfect Daddy

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Okay. I admit it. I was a Daddy’s girl. Oh, I loved both my mother and father, but my Daddy was special to me. In my childish eyes, he was perfect. And I was his “little princess”. My father was funny and fun. He sang silly songs like “There was a hole in the ground, the funniest hole you ever did see…” and he made us laugh with the stories he told about his childhood. He was the middle child in a family of 13 children (mostly boys) so he had plenty of stories to share!

My father attended a one room school. (This was another source of many of his stories–oh, the pranks the boys did in that school!) He didn’t go beyond eighth grade. Because of this, my father had great aspirations for me. His dream for me was that I go to law school and become, as he put it, a “woman judge”. This was an amazing thing considering his background and his ultra conservative upbringing, and that this was prior to the feminist movement. I didn’t fulfill that specific goal he had for me, but I did go to college and he cried the day he drove me there. I was the first one in the family to attend college and he was proud and pleased.

One day after I was grown and married and out of the house, my mother approached me with a concern. She shared with me that she often thought my father favored my older sister and she worried that I had been hurt by it. I was stunned!! I always thought I was the favorite!

It is not unusual for children to admire their fathers. Recently I was watching my great granddaughter crawling towards someone when her father happened to walk by. She promptly did an about face and crawled after him instead! I had to smile. What adoration she has for her daddy!

…the glory of children is their father.
–Proverbs 17:6

There is so much more that I could say about my father. He was a good man who loved God, served in the church, and provided for his family. He worked hard as a salesman, but also maintained a small farm with a very large garden and a beautiful orchard. He took pride in his apples and grew the largest peaches I ever did see! I was happy to call him my Daddy.

As I got older, however, I began to realize that maybe my Daddy wasn’t so perfect after all. My father was a jokester, but sometimes he could joke too hard. My father loved playing games and it was serious business with him. He could be too competitive and at times the games would end with tension and arguments. I began to see that he could be too focused on himself and too demanding of others. He had a stubborn streak that could get him into trouble. I don’t share this to belittle him, but rather to point out that there is no perfect Daddy. Or is there?

We recently celebrated Father’s Day. In our Sunday morning worship service, one of the men expressed to the congregation that as hard as he tries to be a good father, he knows that he fails. But he went on to say that he was thankful for the “perfect heavenly Father who can stand in the gap” when he fails.

In the book, Ragman and other cries of faith, the author Walter Wangerin Jr shares this thought written in a letter to his son:

I had hurt you. I sat you down in a chair and left the room. I went out and I myself burst into tears.
It was a terrible, thwarted thing–for me to cry.
I said, “God, how can I know if I’m a good father to this child?” I said, “God, please you be father for him–“
And quietly I understood: in fact, God is your father, and a better one than I.
–from “To Matthew, at His Confirmation

It was Jesus who encouraged His followers to view God as a father. When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, He instructed them to address God as Our Father, making His Father their Father. He was introducing them to a closer, more intimate relationship with a holy God. But how close can we get to “Our Father, which art in heaven”? Do we dare call him Daddy?

Daddy is such a sweet, childish name for a father. When we get older, we shorten it to Dad. But I called my father Daddy, even as a teen. And sometimes as an adult I would slip and revert to that tender loving term of affection for my father. Daddy. Can our heavenly father be a daddy to us? In Galatians 4:6 we are told that because we are children of God, we can cry out, “Abba, Father!” That word ‘Abba’ is an Aramaic affectionate term for father, the equivalent of papa or daddy. It speaks of a close, intimate relationship between father and child. That is the kind of relationship we can have with God!

My earthly father was my Daddy, but it is God, my heavenly Father, who is my perfect Daddy!

My Daddy and Me

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