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What Am I Here For?

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Most people talk to themselves and that’s okay. It’s normal. I have heard it said that it’s okay to talk to yourself, just don’t answer yourself! But the problem with that lighthearted admonition is that most of the conversations I have with myself begin with a question. And it seems the older I get the more questions I have to ask myself! I ask questions like: Why can’t I sleep? What am I going to do today? Where did I put that thing? What was I doing? What was I saying? What was I thinking? (Although that last one is often said with an exclamation mark!!) Recently the question I have been asking is: What am I here for? You know the scenario. I go from one room into another, I stop and look around, and I am at a loss. I can’t remember what I wanted to do in that room, so I have to ask myself, “What am I here for?” But sometimes when I ask that question I have something deeper in mind.

What am I here for? What’s the point? What’s my purpose in this world? I feel this more now as I am elderly (I hate that word!) and disabled and dependent on others. I am a widow, my children are grown and on their own, my role in life has changed, and so I ask, What am I here for? Perhaps I am not actually asking myself, but in reality I’m questioning God.

Many years ago a children’s worker overheard a mother ask her daughter as she retrieved her from the children’s church service, “Did you have fun?” The teacher reprimanded the mother, “We’re not here to have fun.” I still cringe at the memory. What a way to dampen a child’s enthusiasm for church and for God! But her statement leads us back to the question, what are we here for?

It’s a question philosophers wrestle with and theologians strive to answer.

The great existential question that has plagued every philosopher all the way back through recorded history goes something like this:
‘Why are we here?’ To state it theistically, ‘Why were we created?’
–Tyler Staton
(Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools)

It’s not an easy question with a simple answer. We only scratch the surface of the why and the how. But I do know God’s answer for me.

When I was a young pastor’s wife, new to the ministry and full of self-doubt, I struggled with insecurity. I remember clearly attending a large conference for ministers and their spouses. I felt so small and insignificant, plain and awkward in a crowd of beautiful, successful people. I was a nobody full of self-pity. But God saw me! As the congregation stood to sing a popular chorus of that time, God spoke to me through that song. They sang: Thou art worthy. Thou art worthy, O Lord. For Thou hast created, hast all things created, and for Thy pleasure they are created… and God personalized it for me! I sang it like this: and for Thy pleasure I was created!! Imagine that! You and I exist for God’s pleasure!

That chorus is based on Revelation 4:11.

Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things and for thy pleasure they were and are created.
–Revelation 4:11 (KJV)

Most newer Bible versions translate the phrase ‘for thy pleasure’ as ‘by thy will’. He created us, because He wanted to. The NLT puts it this way: “For you created all things and they exist because you created what you pleased.” And He is pleased with what He created! In Genesis, He calls it good. In Psalm 139 we are described as “wonderfully complex” and “marvelous”. Simply put, we are here, because He wants us here and it pleases Him. He is pleased with what He has made and that includes you.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
–Psalm 139:17 (NLT)

Certainly our being here is not just a whim to please a far away God. He is very personal and has a purpose and plan for each individual. That is made clear to us in Scripture.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
–Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

The NLT of this verse declares we are “God’s masterpiece” and the AMP describes us as “His own master work, a work of art”.
Now that’s something to think about!

When my husband passed away, I moved from a three bedroom house to one room in my daughter’s home, so I had to drastically downsize. I had choices to make. This included what pictures to keep and hang on the walls of my new room. I couldn’t take many, but one I decided to keep was a picture of a woman alone in a field with a sickle in her hand. I chose it for a reason. It’s a reminder to me that even though I no longer have my partner in ministry, as a woman alone, I still have work to do for God.

Sometimes I still struggle and wonder and ask the question, “What am I here for?” But then I remember and I tell myself that I am here for Him!

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Help & Support

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Recently I flew from Buffalo to Houston to visit my sister. I hadn’t seen her in over ten years! But as we’ve gotten older, even though we now live far apart, we have realized that we need each other. She is my only sibling and I desperately wanted to spend some time with her. Because I have a disability and am basically confined to a wheelchair, I do not take trips alone. I want and need someone I know and trust to be with me for help and support. (This time it was my daughter who traveled with me, and I am thankful she was there, because I definitely needed her help.)

While I was in Texas, I enjoyed seeing all the palm trees that were in the area and often lined the streets. These beautiful trees stand tall and stretch high towards the sky. To me they are elegant and exotic. But what I really noticed were the wooden supports at the base of some of the trees. I wondered about it and thought maybe palm trees aren’t as strong as they appear.

I learned a few things. Palm trees are quite resilient to the wind, even the strongest winds of a hurricane. They bend with the force of the storm and are not easily broken or uprooted. They have a somewhat shallow, but very wide, horizontal root system that keeps them standing. However, when a palm tree is initially planted, these roots are not yet developed and the wooden braces are attached to give the trees the support they need to face the storm.

Some of us need help and support, too. I am not a strong person. My physical disability is degenerative and worsens with time, so I am accustomed to asking for help when I need it. It’s always been a part of my life. But it’s different when the support we need is of an emotional or spiritual nature. This kind of need is not easily recognized, and we hesitate to ask for that kind of help because we don’t want to be seen as weak.

The Bible urges us to have strong roots! We are exhorted to be “rooted and grounded in love”, to be “rooted and built up in Him” and to be “established in the faith.” We are told in Proverbs that “the root of the righteous shall not be moved.” But sometimes when the strong winds of life blow our way, our roots don’t always feel strong enough. This is when we need the help and support of those around us. And that’s okay. God does not condemn us when we are weak. Instead, we are urged to be an encouragement to each other. This verse in 1 Thessalonians is very clear:

Comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all.
–1 Thessalonians 5:14 (NKJV)

Encourage the timid and fainthearted, help and give your support to the weak souls, [and] be very patient with everybody.
–1 Thessalonians 5:14 (AMPC)

Sometimes I feel like that newly planted palm tree facing a storm and in need of help and support to remain unscathed and whole. But I also hope there are times that I can be the support that helps someone else to remain standing in their own personal storm. This is what it means to “Carry each other’s burdens…” (Galatians 6:2).

I am reminded of a popular song from the 70’s by Bill Withers titled “Lean On Me.” Here are some of the lyrics:

Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain
We all have sorrow
…
Lean on me
When you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on…

For it won’t be long
Till I need somebody to lean on

You just call on me, brother,
When you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on

I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can’t carry
I’m just up the road
I’ll share your load
If you just call me.

That song expresses it well. It’s about sharing burdens and holding each other up during difficult times. Depending on someone else is a mutual and universal need that we all have at some point in our lives. Not only should we be there for one another, but we also shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help and support when we need it. It’s a fact and it’s a blessing: we need each other!

If you need HELP & SUPPORT, please ask!

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Letting Go and Liking It

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My daughter and her husband are moving away and taking my grandchildren with them! I am not happy. They are moving several states away and I know what that means. Our visits will be few. I already have family including a little granddaughter that live on the other side of the country and sometimes I ache with a longing to see her and hug her and be with her. And now there will be even more to miss.

It’s especially difficult for me, because these three little grandchildren have been a special comfort and joy to me in my grief. When I suddenly lost my husband, the little girls had a special tenderness towards me. They knew I hurt. Their hugs and kisses and declarations of “I love you, Grandma” have been a soothing balm to my hurting heart. And then God increased my joy by blessing this family with a baby boy. This tiny grandson delights me with his smiles. I consider him a special gift from God to me.

I knew for some time that there was a strong possibility they would eventually be moving. But I lived in denial and had a mistaken hope that it would not happen. Apparently, they were in this area for just a season and for a purpose. John and Heidi moved here just a few years before my husband Paul passed away and I am so grateful that they were here for that time and for the support they have been to me. But being here has not been easy for them as things did not go as they expected. They faced several setbacks and struggles and were living in a state of uncertainty. Thus an eventual move was planned.

But when the setbacks and the uncertainty were resolved, the probable move became a reality. I am not ready for them to go! So I have cried. I cried and asked myself, “How am I going to handle another loss?!” And I actually got an answer! I mentally slapped myself. IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT ME! Their life does not and should not revolve around me. I realized I was going to have to let them go. Not that I could stop it from happening, but I need to let them go emotionally and gracefully. That means no pouting, no guilt trips, and no complaining! Their move is a good thing for them and I need to recognize that. They are not moving away; they are moving forward.

As in most situations, I find help for my problem in Scripture. Therefore, as I strive to let go, I think on these verses:

Let each of you look out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others. –Philippians 2:4

I have learned in whatever state I am to be content… I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. –Philippians 4:11, 13

So I am letting go! But am I liking it? Selfishly, not really. But as a mother, I am. (Perhaps it would be more accurate to say, I am trying.) They are doing what is right and best for them, and for that I am glad.

One more verse: Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. –Romans 12:15. So as I rejoice with them, maybe you can weep just a little with me. Because when they go, I am still going to cry.

This reminder hangs on my bedroom door:

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A Call to Action

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“Three frogs are sitting on a log. One of the frogs decides that he is going to jump off. How many frogs are left?” This was the opening line of a sermon I recently heard. The question, of course, is a riddle. It seems like the answer should be two, but because it’s a riddle that’s obviously going to be wrong. The right answer is three. Why? Because until the one frog actually jumps off, there are still three frogs on the log. A decision doesn’t mean it necessarily happens. A good example of this is the New Year’s resolutions people make every year and never keep!

The dynamic and influential civil rights leader, Martin Luther King, Jr, is well-known for his powerful “I Have a Dream” speech. He dared to voice his dream for this nation to the nation!

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.

I have a dream that one day my four little children will live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

But Martin Luther King, Jr. didn’t just dream about it. He did something! He strove to make his dream a reality. Decisions and dreams need to be followed up with action. The same is true of faith.

My daughter has a lovely picture with the framed words, Be Still. She also has a mug with those words on it as well. And on the other side of the mug is the Scripture, “Be still and know that I am God”. It’s a beautiful sentiment and a wonderful truth. But one day as I looked at those words, I thought to myself, “But God calls us to action, too!” To be still is to be calm and quiet, to be at peace, and to trust God. It’s a matter of the heart. The encouragement to be still is not an excuse to do nothing!

God wants us to be “doers”. Look at all these action words we find in the Bible: ask, seek and knock, go, pursue, stand, walk and run, work, fight and wrestle! Our faith should lead us to action. Hebrews 11 is the faith chapter. It lists many Old Testament “Heroes of Faith” and stresses not only their faith, but what they DID because of their faith. It is clear that faith without action is useless. Faith is not only trusting; it also involves obedience and commitment. The Bible puts it this way, “Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”-James 2:17(NIV)

I frequently make a “to do” list. There’s a sense of satisfaction when I am able to scratch a task off that list. But I must confess that some things stay on that list for a very, very long time. In fact, I end up rewriting it on my “to do” list week after week after week. My mother used to say, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions!” I don’t know about that, but I do know that putting a task on my list of things to do isn’t going to get it done. It’s going to take some effort and action on my part.

I am reminded of the quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt, “It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.” In other words, don’t just talk about a problem or an issue, do something! Because we live in a world full of darkness, we have an opportunity and an obligation to put our faith into action in an attempt to dispel some of that darkness.

Just as a decision or a dream demands effort, faith also requires action. In fact, faith is a call to action!

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. –Martin Luther King, Jr.

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The Word of the Year

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At the end of this past year Merriam-Webster announced what they considered to be the word of the year for 2023. Their choice was based on the increase in the number of searches online about that particular word. That word was “authentic”. It’s a great word that speaks of truth and honesty. If something or someone is authentic, they are the real thing, not a fake or reproduction. In this world of facade and deceit, it’s not surprising that people are searching for authenticity. But that was last year’s word. What’s the word of the year for 2024?

There is a popular trend now of choosing “your word” for the new year. Instead of making new year’s resolutions, people now choose a word to be their focus for the year ahead. Perhaps one word is more nebulous and easier to keep than the specifics of a resolution. But I like the line from a poem called “One” that says, “One word can frame a goal” (author unknown). It’s not a bad idea. People’s choices include words like hope, believe, courage, balance, rest, trust, wisdom, and strength. The word for the year is up to you. It’s your word, your goal, your focus.

I was not planning on choosing a word for the new year, but this year a word found me! As I was reading my Bible one morning several weeks ago a single word caught my eye and there it was, my word for 2024. CONTINUE!! This is my word of the year, because there are times that I don’t want to! I don’t want to continue, because I just don’t feel like it and I’d rather just give it all up. Fear and doubt, discouragement and weariness can get in the way sometimes. I wouldn’t be surprised if you occasionally feel that way, too. But when I struggle God has a way of nudging me with Scripture, encouraging me with song, and speaking to my heart.

The high school I attended had a public speaking class that every student was required to take. One of the assignments was to recite a poem of our choice. My friend chose a poem called “Keep A-goin’!” (I remembered the title because I thought it was such an odd poem to choose. However, I don’t have a clue what poem I used, so maybe her choice was better than mine!) I decided to see if I could find it and here it is:

The more I read that quirky poem, the more I like it. It speaks of a diligence and a positive attitude that no matter what comes our way, we need to keep on going with life.

To continue is not always easy. But it is what we must do! It’s also called perseverance, longsuffering, and commitment. This is especially true of our belief in God and what He wants us to be and calls us to do. The Bible exhorts us to “hold fast” and to “stand firm”. My husband used to tell our children to “Buck up!” Don’t quit! And, most importantly, don’t give up on God.

Here is the Bible verse that gave me my word of the year and instructed me to continue:

But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them, and that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
–2 Timothy 3:14,15
(It’s the KJV because that’s what I was reading at the time.)

Do you have a word for this year? I would love to know about it. If not, I recommend the word “continue”.

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Believe!

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I am the recipient of another new mug. This one is rather ordinary and plain, but it is decked out for the holidays! Wrapped in a white knitted cozy, it is especially cute because it has a miniature red plaid scarf wrapped around it as well. The mug holds a transparent Christmas ball ornament that actually has a hot chocolate mix inside of it. One word is written on the decoration: BELIEVE!

It’s become quite common to encourage people to believe. The object of that belief can vary, but often the injunction to believe is focused on believing in yourself. I live in western New York which is Buffalo Bills territory. So around here we are encouraged to “Billieve!” It’s a play on words that urges us to believe in our football team. (And that’s not always easy!)

Urging people to believe has also become a popular part of celebrating Christmas. We see it in the holiday decorations and on our Christmas cards. It is often a theme in Christmas music, movies and commercials. A few years ago when I was watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade on TV, I noticed the decorations Macy’s had on their store. Hanging on the side of the building in huge letters was that one word: BELIEVE.

What is it that we are to believe in at Christmas? Children, of course, are often encouraged to believe in Santa Claus. Adults, on the other hand, are admonished to believe in the Christmas spirit or the goodness of humanity or the positive vibes of the season. But all these things are not worthy of our belief. This kind of believing leads only to disappointment.

I do, however, want to encourage you to believe! Not in some nebulous, feel good concept, but in the One who was born in a stable. Jesus often gets neglected and forgotten during the holiday season, but He is the who and the why of our Christmas day! Believing in Him has eternal rewards!

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.
–John 3:16

For the Scripture says,
‘Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed’.
  –Romans 10:11

Jesus Himself exhorts you to believe for in John 14:1 He declares, “Let not your heart be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.”

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Chickadees and Me

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There’s something irresistible about a chickadee!

Recently I went out for lunch with some friends. When we were taken to our table a lovely little painting of a black-capped chickadee caught my eye. I ended up sitting directly across from the painting, and I couldn’t stop looking and smiling at that picture. When I found out that the prints on display were done by a local artist and were for sale, I made a quick and unusual decision. I was going to buy it! I say it was unusual because it’s out of character for me. I am not a spender. I am very reticent to splurge on something for myself, especially something unnecessary! But I couldn’t resist that little bird. I know a lot of people who love and enjoy black-capped chickadees, but I have an affinity to them based on a little more than their cuteness.

When I was nine years old my parents moved our family to a different town. That meant I started fourth grade in a new school. It did not go well for me. It’s always difficult being the new student, but it is especially hard when you are looked at as “different”. I have a disability. At that point in my life, my physical challenges caused me to walk awkwardly and run slowly. I’m not sure you could even call it running. As one of the boys let me know when he passed me on the way to the playground and declared, “I walk faster than you run!” Perhaps he was just making an observation, but it didn’t feel that way. I didn’t even really know I was disabled until my classmates mocked me because of it. So most of my recollections from that year are not pleasant. Except for the black-capped chickadee! On the outside ledge of our classroom window, a chickadee built a nest for her family. What joy it was to watch! So when I think back to that difficult year, I also remember that it was then I learned about the cute little bird called a black-capped chickadee.

My husband loved to plant apple trees. Because Paul was a pastor, we lived in a parsonage next to the church. That parsonage is now surrounded by apple trees. Quite often I would see a chickadee or two among the branches of the tree planted in front of the living room picture window. That window faced the church parking lot.

On the day of my husband’s funeral I was gazing out that window watching the hearse arrive with his coffin. To my amazement the tree in front of the window was suddenly filled and fluttering with a multitude of chickadees! I was stunned, surprised and joyful! What a blessing those little birds were to me. I do realize that in the winter chickadees can be known to flock together, but to me, on that day, it was a miracle!

I am not a mystic nor am I superstitious. I do not think that Paul sent those birds to me. It was not a message from him. And perhaps some would say it was just a coincidence, a matter of timing. But this I know: God used those chickadees to bless me, to comfort and encourage me!

God is not limited in how He chooses to speak to someone. He’s used birds before. He fed Elijah with ravens (They actually brought him food!), sent a dove on a mission, and used sparrows as an object lesson. God can use the big and boisterous, and He can use the small and seemingly insignificant. I am thankful for those chickadees. They showed me it was possible to smile when life is difficult and to have joy in the midst of sorrow. Black-capped chickadees will forever remind me of God’s personal, loving interest in me.

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Thanks for the Memories

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It was two years ago that my husband suddenly passed away. Thanksgiving was the last holiday we celebrated together. He died four days later.

Even though it’s been two years, caring people still ask me how I am doing. I usually answer with “I’m good. I’m doing okay.” And I am. But deep down inside there is still that hurt, that loss, that grief. At my recent medical check up, my physician asked me, in regards to my husband’s death, how I was doing and I gave him my standard response, “I’m okay.” And then I added, “But I am still grieving.” He gave me a knowing smile and said, “You always will.” Perhaps not the most encouraging thing to hear, but in a sense it was. It made me realize two important things. First of all, I am normal in my grief. Two years isn’t too long to grieve. And, secondly, I don’t have to get over it! I can go on living, even enjoying my life, and still have a place in my heart for the loss I feel.

Thanksgiving is a little different for me now. I have always enjoyed this holiday squeezed between Halloween and Christmas. It comes with a big meal and the family gathered around the table. But there’s less pressure with this holiday as opposed to Christmas and if celebrated correctly the focus is one of gratitude and appreciation. It lends itself to praising God for His faithfulness. Now, however, Thanksgiving is tinged with a touch of sadness as I recall my last Thanksgiving with Paul. But those memories have become precious to me.

I will never forget the sound of his laughter as we sat at the table with the family, enjoying the meal our children had prepared. How he loved the creamed onions and those garlic stuffed olives!

I remember sharing the lists we had made of what we were thankful for. Most of his list involved family members and we joked with him about including his two sons-in-law on the list! We kept the list he had made as a tangible reminder of his last Thanksgiving with us. Another sweet and special memory from that day is him sitting on the couch with one granddaughter at his side watching a kids’ animated movie while our youngest granddaughter, not quite a year old, played contentedly at his feet. It was the last time he saw them.

I have a cousin whose circumstances are similar to mine. She too was a pastor’s wife who lost her husband suddenly and unexpectedly, and she also still grieves. Recently she posted some pictures from their past on Facebook and she made this comment: “Memories keep getting more valuable.” I know what she means.

I have a treasure trove of memories. From that lingering handshake when we first met to that unsuspecting final kiss, each memory is precious to me. Not all the memories are happy ones, but each one is a treasure. Memories play an active role in grief. They have a dual role, sometimes causing pain and yet giving comfort. Paul impacted my life with his love and leadership, and the memories I have are his imprints on my heart. I am so thankful for them!

As I celebrate Thanksgiving this year and express gratitude for my many blessings, I will also be giving thanks for the memories! Below is the last picture I have of my husband. Taken a month before he passed away, it is my final visual memory of him. But what a happy one it is!

I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.
–Philippians 1:3

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A Sermon in Shoes

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Recently I watched a reality TV show called “The World’s Toughest Race”. This was not so much a race about speed, but rather one of endurance. Teams of four from all over the world travelled to Fiji to participate in this extreme form of racing. They had eleven days to complete the course which involved hiking and biking through muddy trails, fighting their way through the jungle overgrowth, climbing cliffs and scaling over waterfalls, building rafts and maneuvering through rapids, swimming through frigid water and rowing over ocean waves. It was not without its injuries. The people of Fiji were very welcoming and often helped the teams as they came into their villages. I was especially interested in one of the Fijian men as he assisted a contestant who had hurt his leg. The injured man had been placed on a horse to get him to the next check point. What I noticed was how this man from Fiji, who was not a part of the team nor a contestant in the race, kindly helped the injured man dismount the horse by holding his leg carefully and gently guiding him to the ground. I thought what a wonderful person he must be to show such kindness to a stranger. When he turned his back to the camera, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud, because big words written on the back of his shirt declared, “Be the sermon!” He certainly wore the shirt well as his actions spoke to me before I ever saw the words.

What does it mean to ‘be the sermon’? It emphasizes the fact that we can influence others and speak into their lives by how we act and how we live. In fact, it is extremely important that our actions match our words. Ralph Waldo Emerson is credited with saying, “What you do speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say.”

In the Mitford series by Jan Karon, there is a character by the name of Absalom Greer. He is an older minister who also runs the family country store, and as he stands behind the counter of his store, he declares:

“You’re looking at where I do my best preaching” he said, slapping the worn wood of the old counter. “Right here is where the rubber hits the road. Like the Greeks said to Philip, ‘Sir, we would see Christ.’ If they don’t see him behind this counter six days a week, we might as well throw my Sunday preaching out the window.”
–from At Home in Mitford

Many years ago I taught a lot of children in various church settings. One of my favorite object lessons was about shoes. I compared people to different kinds of shoes. We had the sneaker, the loafer, the flip-flop (now applied to politicians), the dress shoe (looks good on the outside, but not much good for anything else) and then there was the good, old reliable work shoe! The implied question was what kind of shoe are you. At the end of the lesson we sang this little chorus:

Do you know, oh, Christian, you’re a sermon in shoes?
Do you know, oh, Christian, you’re a sermon in shoes?
Jesus counts upon you to spread the gospel news,
So walk it and talk it!
A sermon in shoes!

The thing about our walk and talk is we need to make sure they are saying the same thing. And the truth of the matter is that people pay more attention to our walk than our talk. It’s often put this way: Your talk talks and your walk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks. Think about it!

We are reminded in James 1:22 to “be doers of the word.” And more specifically in 1 John 3:18 we read, “Let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth”. Our lives speak volumes. The way we live declares our priorities and reveals our true values.

If “actions speak louder than words”, we need to ask ourselves this question: What kind of sermon am I?

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To BOO! or not to BOO!

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My granddaughter loves Halloween. Maybe not as much as Christmas, but it is one of her favorite holidays. She plans months ahead what her costume is going to be and every year she celebrates with a Halloween party. This granddaughter is 25 years old! She is married and has a baby girl. This year her family will be dressing up as three bears–a grizzly, a polar bear and a little panda bear. Some might question whether a young married woman and mother should still be that enthused about Halloween. And others might wonder if she as a Christian should even be celebrating at all!

I grew up attending a small evangelical, Pentecostal church that was quite conservative. By conservative I mean there were a lot of things we were not supposed to do as Christians. My belief system included a list of things “we do not believe in.” We didn’t drink (not even wine), smoke, or swear. We didn’t believe in going to movies, dancing, or playing cards. We didn’t get our ears pierced and we definitely didn’t get tattoos! Modesty was the keyword for women. If you’re going to wear makeup or jewelry, keep it at a minimum. Don’t look like the world and don’t draw attention to yourself! I share this because, in spite of all these rules, the church I attended had no qualms about celebrating Halloween!

I remember one Halloween party in particular where the pastor, an older, white-haired and balding gentleman, came dressed as a woman. I remember it well, because my father, a deacon in the church, knowing it was the pastor, pretended to flirt with the “woman”! And as a child I frequently dressed up as a ghost (It’s an easy costume to make!), a hobo, or a scarecrow or even a witch! As a teen in the 60’s I had fun putting together hippie outfits and calling myself a “flower child” for a night. (That did not mean I used drugs or approved of their lifestyle!)

Perhaps the church I attended was an anomaly in its day, but from my experience it appears that churches in general are taking a stronger stance against Halloween. I understand the increased concern and reticence about celebrating Halloween. The world is a dangerous place, and witchcraft and Satanism are becoming not just tolerated, but acceptable. So churches now have “trunk or treat” nights, and harvest parties and warn against dressing up as ghosts, goblins, or anything gruesome. This is commendable. It provides a fun alternative.

There are, however, some people who believe that the church is wrong to even do this! I ran across this pronouncement on social media: A watered down ‘church version’ of Halloween is still Halloween! They went on to declare that the only right response to Halloween is to have absolutely nothing to do with it. They believe that giving any kind of credence to the holiday is paying homage to evil, witchcraft, and the Devil himself.

But we need to remember that Halloween actually has its roots as a Christian holiday. Historian Colin Garbarino states: Too often we…forget that Halloween, or ‘All Hallows’ Evening’ is actually only the prelude to another holiday, All Saints’ Day. This Christian holy day, which has its roots in late antiquity, honors all those who have reached heaven, and originally it was especially concerned with the martyrs. Many of our Halloween traditions (for example, trick or treating and wearing costumes) have grown out of the early Catholic church’s celebration of this holiday.

For many, Halloween is an innocent, fun and imaginative holiday. But we also do recognize that there is a dark and sinister side that encourages the hideous and the evil and actually does involve witchcraft and Satanism. In my research on this subject, I found this statement by the Catholic Study Fellowship: As Christians we should celebrate as followers of Christ. As we try to put Christ back in Christmas, we should try to put holiness back in All Hallow’s Eve. What a concept! I like to think that perhaps Christians could have such an effect on Halloween that even through this secular holiday they would influence the world for Christ!

I recently asked my granddaughter why she enjoyed Halloween so much. I personally think it’s because it’s an outlet for her creative imagination and quirky personality. I say quirky because she’s unique and funny, has her own sense of colorful style, and thinks bats are cute!

Here is her answer to my question: “I like Halloween because you get to be silly and dress up and you’re not alone in doing so. You can dress up to show what you’re entertained by or what you want to be or if you just think it looks cool or cute. You can be a princess or a dinosaur or Batman for a day! I also like it due to good memories. I remember the hayrides and harvest parties and the food and overall togetherness. Mom and Dad took the time to take my brother and me trick or treating. And even though it was dark out I wasn’t afraid because I held one of my parents’ hands and I knew what was coming up: a lighted porch and some sweets given out by a kind neighbor. At the end of the night we would enjoy some of the sweets and the company of Mom and Dad while eating chicken nuggets and watching a movie. As I get older that obviously has changed, but I like to share the same joy with other people while enjoying how silly or cute or cool we look in our costumes.”

I shared her delightful response with you, because there is no darkness or evil in her answer. Instead she describes a time of joy, togetherness, sharing, kindness, and even security and light in the dark.

When it comes to Halloween it is an individual decision how to celebrate or whether to celebrate it at all. As Christians this decision is based on our personal convictions. When my oldest daughter was a child, the elementary school she attended had two traditions they did every year for Halloween. They had a Halloween parade that families could attend and watch the kids march around the school in their costumes. The other Halloween activity was a spooky, haunted classroom. My husband and I allowed our daughter to be in the parade, but did not permit her to participate in the spooky room. Our decision was based on what we thought was best for her and on our own beliefs concerning Halloween.

Those who believe they should not observe Halloween in any way need to stay true to their convictions. For them, it would be wrong to do so. Hobby Lobby, a well-known Christian owned enterprise, refuses to sell Halloween decor, because it goes against their “religious beliefs”. They have taken a stand and have stayed true to their convictions. This is admirable! But there are others who do not have the same mindset. They feel a freedom to enjoy the holiday within a Christian context. And this is okay, too. We need to be considerate of one another and respect each other’s decision. (Romans 14) Consider the following two Scripture verses:

You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right.
[NOTE: The above verse is about personal convictions, NOT sin.]
But if you have doubts…you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.
–Romans 14:22, 23 (NLT)

And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
—Colossians 3:17 (NLT)

To BOO! or not to BOO! is up to you.

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