Some of my grandchildren live far away from me, so I don’t get to see them very often. We do have frequent video chats and those calls end with blowing kisses and their exuberant voices saying, “I love you, Grandma!” But not too long ago I was able to make a trip to visit with some of those distant grandchildren. One day, while I was there, I was surprised when my four year old granddaughter leaned against me, softly touched my arm, and whispered, “I like you.” Now that made me feel special!

Love is seen as the stronger emotion. The Bible tells us “the greatest of these is love”, and God Himself is love. We are instructed to love one another, to love our neighbors, and to love our enemies. This kind of love looks beyond the other person’s faults. It has been said that we love someone ‘in spite of’ and that we like someone ‘because of’. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Liking someone because we have common interests and similar values leads to friendship.

Just as we all need to be loved, we also want to be liked. This is why young people follow fads and strive to be popular. It’s why people of all ages succumb to peer pressure. We want to be accepted and liked.

Fred Rogers recognized this innate desire we all have and tried to meet that need on his children’s program. He wrote and sang this little song:

It’s you I like, It’s not the things you wear, It’s not the way you do your hair– But it’s you I like The way you are right now, The way down deep inside you– Not the things that hide you, Not your toys– They’re just beside you. But it’s you I like– Every part of you, Your skin, your eyes, your feelings Whether old or new. I hope that you’ll remember Even when you’re feeling blue That it’s you I like, It’s you yourself, It’s you, it’s you I like. –Fred Rogers

But to like someone you actually have to know them. Frequently during my marriage, I would look at my husband with a smile and tell him that I liked him. I loved him in so many ways, but I also genuinely liked him. I enjoyed being with him and laughing together. He wasn’t just my spouse, he was my friend. We don’t often tell people that we like them. It’s actually easier to say ‘I love you’. After all, we’re supposed to love everyone, right? I’ve had people who don’t really know me tell me they love me. But to tell someone you sincerely like them seems a bit more awkward. (I’m not sure why that is the case. Perhaps it’s because that phrase is often associated with childlike infatuation. That’s not what I am talking about!) It might be difficult to literally say ‘I like you’ to your friend, but there are other ways that we can express our feelings to those we care about. And we should!

When my oldest grandson was a little guy, he looked at me one day and said, “Thank you, Grandma, for being Grandma.” More recently, when I was struggling to do some little task by myself and didn’t want to ask for help, this same grandson, who is now an adult, scolded me for not asking him to help me. When I explained that I get tired of having to bother people, he exclaimed, “Grandma, you’re not a burden!” What was he telling me? He was letting me know he likes me.

To know we are accepted, appreciated and liked is a treasure. It gives us a sense of value and improves our self-image. There’s a children’s ditty that says, “Nobody likes me, Everybody hates me, I guess I’ll eat some worms…” This silly song actually has a message. The person who feels estranged from everyone and thinks that nobody likes them struggles with liking themselves. They might as well eat worms!

Not everyone will like us–and we won’t like everyone! We are not intended to. We don’t need to seek everybody’s approval nor do we need to be friends with all the people we know. But if there is someone who means a lot to you, who you appreciate, who you enjoy, and who you simply like as a person, don’t be afraid to let them know! The sentiments my grandchildren expressed to me have stuck with me. They have stayed in my heart. Who knows what your words of encouragement might mean to your friend?

A sweet friendship refreshes the soul. –Proverbs 27:9 (MSG)

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