Mother’s Day can be a conundrum.

I remember as a young mother looking forward to Mother’s Day. I had the sweetest little girl who was the perfect baby and I considered myself a good mother. I was especially looking forward to being honored in church and receiving my single carnation. (The carnation has become the traditional and official flower of Mother’s Day. The founder of this special holiday, Anna Jarvis, chose it because it was her mother’s favorite flower.)

I ended up with four children and never grew tired of their handmade cards and gifts. Now that my children are adults I get gorgeous flowers, beautiful cards, and fancier gifts. I still appreciate Mother’s Day and still enjoy the Sunday morning recognition. However, with time I have become more aware. In my younger years of motherhood, I was oblivious to what other women might be feeling. I was focused on my own joy. But when I became a pastor’s wife, things changed. Women and girls felt free to share their stories, problems and concerns with me. And that included the hurt some felt on Mother’s Day. Women who longed to have children of their own, but did not or could not, endured much sorrow during the Sunday morning celebration in church. At first my reaction was we still need to honor those who are mothers. They deserve it! In time, however, we began to honor all the ladies in the congregation, including those who weren’t mothers, by recognizing their influence on the children of the church. But I wonder if that eases the pain at all or whether it simply reinforces their emptiness.

This is the time to apply Romans 12:15- “Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy] and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief].” And this goes two ways. The one who is hurting must look beyond their sorrow to enjoy the blessings of others, but the one being honored needs to be cognizant of the pain others may be experiencing.

…in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interests of the others. –Philippians 2:3,4

I had a good mother. She was a sweet woman who worked hard, loved God and lived a simple life. She taught me by example. By doting on my father, she taught me to not only love my husband, but to respect him as well. I often discovered her on her knees at the living room sofa in prayer. I knew then that prayer should be a part of everyday life. Some of our best times together were when we did the dishes. She washed and I dried and we talked. She loved me in many ways. I remember sitting on her lap even as a teenager. Once I stuck my tongue out at her; she slapped me and I never did it again. That was love, too, as well as a teaching moment. She was a good cook and made wonderful breads and pies. She made the best peach pie ever!! She tried to teach me to make pie crust, but I didn’t have her touch. I never was able to do it even though she showed me over and over again. She was not overly affectionate, but after I got married and moved 5 hours away, she couldn’t seem to hug me hard enough whenever I came home to visit. Even as an adult, I was her “little princess.” Precious were the times we shared tea together. I miss her.

But not everybody has a good mother. How do they feel on Mother’s Day? Angry? Hurt? Bitter? Forsaken? What can be done about their misery? Anything?? One thing we can do is listen to their pain. We can also offer them hope through prayer and by showing them compassion and understanding, pointing them to the “God of all comfort”.

We are familiar with referring to God as our Father, but there is a motherly side to God as well. There is a powerful verse that really deals with the issue of abandonment. God declares, “Can a woman forget her nursing child and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, but I will not forget you!”-Isaiah 49:15 What a blessed reminder to those who have been neglected! In the New Testament, God even compares himself to an old mother hen! He wants to gather us to himself “as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings.” What comfort we can find there!

When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me. –Psalm 27:10

There are other sorrows that can cause us pain on Mother’s Day. The death of a mother or the loss of a child, a forgotten mother neglected and alone, a prodigal son or a runaway daughter. Sad reminders that life isn’t always perfect and sometimes we find ourselves in a place of misery. But we can find hope in God and encouragement from one another.

I am reminded that we can “carry grief and joy at the same time.”-Jamie Erickson in Holy Hygge. By caring for each other we can share one another’s hurts and help them through what might be a difficult time. Likewise the joy another feels can lift our spirits when we are struggling with grief.

Don’t be afraid to hug someone. It can do wondrous things!

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